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Monday, September 06, 2010 |
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Defrosting the Hamburger - 09/11/2005 11:20 AM I saw a TV commercial the other day that was hilarious, unfortunately it was not supposed to be funny. The basic commercial was this: A working woman/mom opens a pantry and pulls out a box of what might be Hamburger Helper and her face forms an expression not unlike you might expect when your dentist tells you that you have four cavities. She then, through that wonderful expression proclaims, “I have to defrost the hamburger!” Then they cut to a new product that, apparently has everything you need in one box. Suddenly an expression of ecstasy can be seen on this woman’s face. Ok, here’s what is so hilarious about this. 1. Hamburger Helper was the quick-and-easy dinner-in-a-box solution a couple of decades ago. You could have a tasty hot dinner ready in a jiffy, and everyone would enjoy it. It would seem that in a jiffy just isn’t fast enough anymore, as, well, you’ve got to defrost the hamburger! God forbid you think to take the hamburger out of the freezer earlier that day. 2. If defrosting the hamburger is such a grueling task that it causes an expression representing dental pain, what would actual cooking do to this person? Would she drown her family in the bathtub? Perhaps perform a Bobbit-tectomy on her husband? End up in a clock tower with a rifle? Surely a personal encounter with Rachael Ray could only end in tears. “30 minute meals? My God in heaven, why not just disembowel me and be done with it!” 3. There was a time when housewives would catch the chicken, cut its head off, pluck, gut, cut, clean, then cook it – but they at least didn’t have to defrost it. 4. Can you see the follow-up to this commercial in a few years? “I have to open the box! I could get a paper-cut!” 5. The makers of this commercial apparently believed that a significant portion of the population would be able to relate to this woman. Talk about scary! Ok, here’s what is so scary about this. We are all in such a hurry that the important things are just a blur. Perhaps defrosting the hamburger would allow a minute to talk to your kids…your spouse. Perhaps actually cooking something would result in memories of food that can’t be reproduced today. Yes, Spaghetti-O’s are nice, but mom’s meatloaf can only be made by mom. That’s a special memory reserved for those fortunate enough to be invited to share it. What if that woman “had to defrost the hamburger”? Traditional families used dinnertime as an opportunity to be together. Preparation, enjoying and cleaning-up dinner is one of the family activities that helped to keep a family connected and close. It is when responsibilities are learned, secrets are shared and the day’s events were discussed. Too many people look upon defrosting the hamburger as such an incredible burden to bear, it is a wonder they don’t drop to the ground in a quivering mass of neurosis. I saw this commercial over a week ago and have been slow to send up this rant because “I have to press the ‘publish’ key” kcuhC, chuck@kcuhc.com |